So, what is this thing about "letting go"?  It seems every time I turn around I am hearing that phrase.  It sounds so easy.  In order to even begin this journey of knowing Him, I was asked to "let go" of the control I have over my life.  It was not hard for me to acknowledge my need for Him.  It was not hard for me to believe that He died on the cross, a completely innocent man, so that I could be restored to a relationship to the Father.  Confessing my sin was not a problem...He had plenty of time to listen...and I had a plentiful supply of bad choices to keep the conversation interesting.  The "sinner's prayer" became the monument to the end of me, to the person I was, and to the beginning of a journey I am only beginning to understand.
     Like a squirrel gathering acorns for a long winter, I had gathered an amazing stash of items I thought I would need to live my life.  An arsenal of weapons any person might need to live a life.  I became a master builder with walls surrounding the fortress of my heat.  These walls  were not only practical but were ornately decorated, so that passersby had no idea just how broken down and dysfunctional the heart behind the wall had become.  After all, it was my life. A life protected from anyone or anything that was going to cause me pain. His love was not in any way bothered by my stash of acorns, my arsenal of weapons, or my ornately decorated walls. His love penetrated my heart.
   At first, He let me hold onto the things that I thought I needed to hang onto in order to survive.   His love just kept me.  The things that I did to help me find peace in my troubled heart just didn't work the way that they used to work.  It wasn't that I was not able to do those things, it just didn't have the same effect.  It was not worth the time anymore.  It was not worth the regret.  For a child that grew up with learning that performing well meant that I was loved and messing up meant I had to do something to earn my way back into being accepted...this was a new kind of love.
     As I am learning how to trust the Father, I am learning to "let go".  His patience is amazing.  Each time He begins to talk to me about something I am holding onto that is keeping me from embracing all He has for my life, I have to confess that my first reaction is panic.  How will I live without this thing I have needed all my life?  Patiently, He reminds me of His truth.  He gives me His word.  His promise.  At times, I just "let go" and He takes it from me.  Other times, I am white-knuckled holding onto what I know I must let go of.  His response to me is not affected by my response to His asking.  He waits.  Who can fight that kind of love?  Oh, don't get me wrong, He is a God who is powerful and I used to think that He could just make me let go and then we both would have it so much easier.  But He can't.  He has the power...it is just not His nature.  He wants me to want to let go.  He wants to know that I love Him because I want to, not because He made me.
     Letting go.  Powerful.  I let go of things and I am letting go of things.  Always a process.  What is He asking you to let go of today?
   
   

Family

As I look around and I see all the lonely people, my heart can feel can their despair.  Life is all about relationships.  Kinda sucks, but its true.  Relationships are the hardest things to work out.  I think the biggest reason for that is that you only can control your half.  You can bring to the relationship what you desire to get out of  it...but that doesnt guarantee the other person has the same intent or desire.  Our first concept of relationship came from our family experience.  Healthy or not healthy, the concept was created of  how individuals create and then work out a relationship.
The concept of family.  Wow, so many different ideas of what that word means.  For some, the word family brings up memories that cause great pain.  For others, the word family offers security and hope.   It has been said that you can choose your friends, but you cant choose your family.  I am not sure that is true.  I think genetically that is a given, but I think there is more to this life than genetics.
Men and women...not boys and girls....but men and women are still  looking for the affirmation of a "father".  A father who loves unconditionally.  A father who doesn't point out flaws or failures.  A father who believes that you are destined to be everything you were created to be.   A father who has arms open ready to embrace us when we have just messed things up and we cant find our way.  A father who takes the time to correct us and help us see that next time we will make a better choice.  That is a pretty tall order.  Most dads just cant do it all.
This might seem obvious to a lot of you, but for me, I am just beginning to understand.  I have a Father who is all that and more.  I am His daughter.  He sees me.  He knows my destiny.  He know everything there is to know about me.  He loves me so much that He just enjoys me.  He loves to spend time with me.  He has good plans for me.   He offers me a future and a hope.  For the longest time, I was afraid of His love.  I always knew it was there, but I didn't think I deserved it after all the things in my life I had done.  I wanted to earn it.  I wanted to fix my mistakes so that He could love me.  He just kept loving me.  He saw me try and try over again to make my own way to Him.   Like a loving Father, He just kept letting me know He was there and that I could trust Him to be everything I had heard He could be and everything I needed Him to be.
One of the greatest things that has come into my life because I am His daughter has been that I found out I had a ton of brothers and sisters.  Ones I never knew existed.  You know, I found the coolest verse in the bible the other day...I know its been there all along, but I never really saw it  before.  It says, He sets the lonely in families.  He gives us what we so desperately need to fill whatever is missing in our lives.  He fills in the holes.
So if you are hurting, or lonely...and you are facing something that you just cant seem to find your way through, reach out.  Reach past the walls that have protected you from being hurt and grab a hold of your Father's hand.  He is right there waiting for you.  Your invitation for His help is all He is waiting for.  Once you grab that strong hand, you will be able to see that surrounding you are brothers and sisters who need you just as much as you need them.  There is no need to walk alone.  You have a family...and family makes all the difference in the world.